I call, but no answer.

My dependency on you wanes…

Is it bad to say that I’ve lost faith in you?

They say parents mold their children, but how come when I need you most you can’t be there?

Why is it that I always have to be the adult with you?

I’m on the edge, and you can’t even see me nearing the end of the cliff…

I’ve lost all concept of balance with part of my base (you) missing for a long time. Just for a moment of truth I wish I could confess to you everything I feel, but I know it is no use. You will either diregard what I have to say, or you will pretend to hear with forced ears.

Is it bad to say that I want someone to listen with their heart instead of their ears?

School has me questioning my virtues. I walk down the halls and question what being a virgin really means. What being a ‘good girl’ really grants. Why should I force in to the lines of society when those breaking out seem to get all the bonuses? They do something bad; they get punished. But they do something good and they get rewarded. Why am I ruining my childhood in the eyes of those rebelling when being good actually just pushes me away from you. With me you just expect greatness. I’m not appreciated. Ever. In fact, I’m quite often disregarded.

You know this. 

And you can’t help. No. Correction; you won’t help. Is this how your mother raised you? Because I find it hard to believe. I remember a strong woman. A wise woman. A woman I watched the life drain out of. A woman too pure for this Earth.

For once, my emotions have been let loose and have frayed at the edges. I can sit here with what I’m feeling and only let two drops fall from my eyes. One for our past, and one for what I know our future to be. I refuse to shed a tear for the present, because it is the here and now. Truly representational of its title. A gift. 

But what more is there to pull hope from if I can’t find it in you?